I haven't been sleeping

Another night of lackluster sleep. I am done with it.
Too often my thoughts plague me right before bed making it impossible for me to enter the dream world, which I'd rather be in than lying there worrying about how my actions effected people through out the day. It is total bullshit.
I wonder if other people have the same problem.
I bet they do, or hope.
So, despite my tired state, today was not so bad, thus far.
I am still fretting over the little shit. It is giving me high anxiety. It also could be the lack, or rather, the absence of smoking.

I hate people who wake up early and proceed to tousle aluminum cans about in a very loud fashion. What is the point of that? Crazy guys who live behind me!

I am very tired.

I need a good night, where I don't feel out of place. I miss a month ago, when things weren't so bad. Or, maybe I was too drunk to notice. But, wasn't everyone?

It's hard to hold on to something that doesn't want to be held, obviously. But I'd rather not let go.

I don't think people know me outside of DRUNK LOUD COLLEEN...
I am not holding onto that.

I don't think people would consider me a conversationalist... but, it seems every time I see Nick I have the best conversations with him. He get me, though. He's known me for almost 8 years.

I can't wait till I go home for my birthday. We are going to go to Shakespeare in the Park (if it has started) then a chocolate bar (I hope) and then out dancing somewhere (because that alone would be the best birthday present. Oh, and seeing the sisters.)

Did I mention that I want a good night soon? So good that I am exhausted the next day from the tons of fun I had! I have not had that in a while. I think the night Shattered closed was the last time.
When Shattered was open I never felt like I had to have a set of friends because I had dancing at least once a week. That made me happy enough. I hope Nick has a dance party soon. I am tired of feeling restless.